can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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