You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
