; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
