pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
