i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
