It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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