I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
