good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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