if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
