And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
