I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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