oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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