Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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