My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
