I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
