Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
