You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
