Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
