Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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