Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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