Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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