I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
