it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize
