Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
