i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
