my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
She's the barista slut.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize