My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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