My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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