i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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