You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
