i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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