last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
