Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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