He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
