I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize