dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
