Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
