My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are the jesus of drinking
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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