on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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