i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
