so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
