i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
17 year olds will be the death of me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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