I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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