Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
