I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
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