wanna go halves on a baby?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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