do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize