I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Vodka?
Forever.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
