Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
