she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
