You work out of a Hotel?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
