I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize