fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
