Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
