I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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