am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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