yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
