so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize