By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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