Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sober January is a disaster.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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