Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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