I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
